Cornu

1. The shofar is mighty and capacious, a flock-call bearing such heft as to forcibly re-constitute all spatial groupings as moveable herds.

2. The alpenhorn is long out of necessity; the meters it utilizes translate, via the intervention of conditioned lungs, into a bridging which seconds the linear kilometer-jumps between alpen peaks. The essential comedy of the alpenhorn, which is wholly consonant with the comedy of other local folkways, is of a more mysterious (and, daresay, ineffable) provenance.

3. The coxswain's horn both urges the rowing-team further and shouts the banks of the river aside. Anyone happening by might well wonder at the utility of this badgering bantam who can only shout on the effort, hindering and not visibly furthering the tense haul. Also, in its current iteration the coxswain's horn resembles a ghastly paper cup-enabled parody of the already-ghastly apparatus of a court reporter.

4. The cheerleader's horn is considered by most experts in the field to be chiefly decorative. HOWEVER, placing an amplified microphone at the narrower end results in a peculiarly pleasing form of feedback--a comical sort of hooting.